it's been a long while i know. i'm sure there are a buncha things to reflect on with regards to the events of 2007, but as of late i've been thinking a lot about the whole idea of belonging. as humans we're social beings... we're created to be... God wired us that way... and there's physiological proof of it with parts of our brain specifically created to recognize faces and such. i'm sure there's a bunch more, but i haven't really been pondering the scientific or physiological side of belonging... more the emotional, seeking side.
was thinking the other day how there are so many things about me that cause me to stick out like a sore thumb: being the youngest one amongst a group of people, being older than another group of people, not growing up with yet another set of people, not being cantonese or speaking cantonese, being filipino/chinese (fukien chinese, not canto/mandarin chinese), being the new person, and the list goes on. and these things in contrast to allowing me to feel like i belong cause me to feel quite the opposite, left out. now this blog entry isn't meant to garner sympathy, attention or whatever other negative connotations people can conjure up... it's acting more as an outlet for my thoughts.
i've come to discover as of late that i'm still searching... searching for a place to belong, to feel included, to feel as though i'm a part of something. and while i know that i'm a part of God's family in the grander scheme of things, sometimes it feels like i draw the short straw when it comes to friendships and social groups. there are more times than i can count that i've felt out of the loop, not included, left out, on my own, etc. a friend of mine back in highschool useta say that the reason for that is cuz i'm set apart... and often don't participate in things like going out all the time till late, or when i got older, clubbing till the wee hours of the morning or drinking until i can't even remember my name, and that's why i usually don't get called out to such events. and i remember that it useta bother the heck out of me that i felt like i didn't really have a circle of friends to hang out with regularly... no one to really call out if i felt like doing anything... i mean even Jesus had His twelve! :P anyhow, eventually i got used to the whole independence thing and managing on my own.
and recently i've realized that my environment has changed quite drastically since highschool. i got through university, now working full time, changed churches, now in a new small group for young adults, and again the list goes on. and yet i'm still searching for a place to belong. so perhaps... in this life, here on earth, we'll never really feel like we belong? perhaps it's not until we reach those golden gates that we'll feel included, part of something, accepted and welcomed despite the things that cause us to be and feel different, not left out of the loop, etc.?
anyhow, it's 11:45pm and sadly that means it's my bedtime. sometimes this working full-time thing is really the sux. :( well just some thoughts... will try to blog more... need me some outlets for all the thoughts running amok in my brain. :P
3 comments:
Wup, we truly are social beings - that's how God made us. Jesus and his twelve were absolutely tight (although, i dunno about Judas - he was a bit of a jerk :P j/k God, don't strike me down!!!!).
By finding out where we belong or what "group" we belong to, it can helps us to understand who we are or who we could be. At the same time, sometimes in the search to find where we belong, we'll try and sample and sometimes turn out being someone we're not if we rush to find our sense of belonging.
As you seem to discover your sense of belonging, I hope you also remember first and foremost - we all BELONG TO GOD...it's kinda part of one of the "conditions" of being Christian :P We need to be comfortable in knowing that we're His first, that He should and is enough for all that we need - then will we be able begin to search a little more and a little further outside.
Being able to acknowledge, accept and appreciate that fact that we're God's is probably what'll help us better understand where else we belong and whom else God has called us to seek fellowship, community and life-sharing with.
Just remeber though, even as you go to search where else you belong, know you've got family, friends, companions, and brothers-&-sisters who will always welcome you back in when you return. You're never too far from someone who cares.
*h.k.s*
don't mind the time...we can think about Hazel at any time of the day!! *hug*
- Imelda
Interesting thoughts or are they ramblings of a restless mind. =)
I also feel that I always don't quite belong to any one group. But I have a slightly different approach to not belonging.
In life I try and try and try and spend a large amount of energy to try to fit in and most importantly be liked. I try and try but I get ditched, or just never included. I guess I'm different and people know this and assume..... Actually assume nothing, because I probably never came to mind.
After years of experience I call life, I have come to realize that "it's not them it’s me" that needs to accept the shortcomings of a social group.
Some groups offer more common interest, and we get along well.
Some groups I feel like I nothing in common and I stand out like a sore thumb.
But can I change the dynamics of the group?? No! All I can do is accept what the group really is and not what I wish the group to be like to best suit me.
I can give a real life example: Some of the best times at ETCBC were when my best friend Chiachi came to church, because Chiachi is an exact copy of me. We got each other nasty jokes and laugh about the stupidest things. It’s been 4 years or more since Chiachi came to church. It’s been 4 years where church has been different for me, I tried to fit in but I know when I step out of the building I like to be a different person. And no one really comes close to relating to me.
So what am I to do? I can't replace Chiachi, and I love my church.
So I wrapped my head around this problem by saying to myself "its not them its me" Its me that needs to work harder at it. Also just accept people and groups for what they are and stop wishing for perfection.
Be content with great mis-matched friendships around me. And stop searching/worrying for what I believe an Ideal social group would feel like.
Final Thought:
I dunno life is complex and ussually a simple approach is the best solution.
"If you can't beat them join them" or "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" may be this best approach to belonging.
I hope this gave you a different spin on things
Cheers,
Eugene Wong
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